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Wake up Stearns, and bring back Go-Go!

Dear Milwaukee Brewers Front Office,

As I’m sure you’ve been made aware at some point, the Houston Astros have placed Carlos Gomez on release waivers. Even if you haven’t heard yet, you probably could’ve guessed, seeing as the Astros designated him for assignment earlier in the week.

You guys know that Gomez was designated for assignment, right? I’ve heard his name connected to the Marlins:

I’ve also heard him connected to the Mets. I’m sure this will shock you, given the history at play here, but it seems like they’re waffling on whether or not they want to add Gomez:

And if that wasn’t enough, a Brewer fan’s worst nightmare almost came to pass:

Granted, the latest reports are that the Cardinals are “out on Gomez.” But need I remind you that they were saying that about the Mets days ago, and now the Mets might be back in play? Or maybe not? It’s hard to keep abreast with all of this movement. But that brings me to my next point–where is the movement on the part of Milwaukee? Other than idle banter from non-team sources it’s been radio silence.

I shouldn’t need to “convince” you to take a flier on this guy. Just two years ago, he was a five-win player in this very ballpark. Sure, he’s been terrible since we traded him away–but isn’t there something to be said for the fact that he’s more or less pulled a skills-reversal with Jonathan Villar, who moved in the opposite direction? I’m not crazy to think that, of all the buy-low fliers this team has taken, Gomez brings the most upside and makes the most sense? But, alas, here we are. And since you guys seem extra lethargic–hung over from the trade deadline, perhaps?–I’m going to motivate you in the best way possible: through song.


He holds a special place in our hearts
And talk of bringin’ him back has got to start
The Cards might try for the same
And if he bounced back with them it would be so lame

But something’s bugging me
I’m far from cocky
‘Cause the Gomez rumors omit Milwaukee
Of his old self, they say he’s a shell
But that’s just a small sample size, bring him back, what the hell?!

Wake up Stearns, and bring back Go-Go
‘Cause we’ve had such good luck with former Astros
Wake up Stearns, and bring back Go-Go
He’s gonna bounce back nice and crush the ball
Wake up Stearns, and bring back Go-Go
It’s not like Nieuwenhuis’ numbers say “no”
Wake up Stearns, and bring back Go-Go
Excite Milwaukee this fall
With catches at the wall!

The change of scenery made him a waste
But Houston dropped him with way too much haste
His bat’s been bad, and so has his glove,
But he still owns those skills you’ve got to love.

If he should rebound his best chance is here
Playing for the team that’s named after beer
It’s not like we don’t have the money to spend
To bring him back and play him ’til the season’s end!

Wake up Stearns, and bring back Go-Go
‘Cause we’ve had such good luck with former Astros
Wake up Stearns, and bring back Go-Go
He’s gonna bounce back nice and crush the ball
Wake up Stearns, and bring back Go-Go
It’s not like Nieuwenhuis’ numbers say no
Wake up Stearns, and bring back Go-Go
Excite Milwaukee this fall
With catches at the wall!

(cue up the horn section, it’s time for the bridge!)

One bad year, and his stock is low
But he still owns great skills–that, we all know
If it helps, and I think this will
Just think of it like what we did with Aaron Hill!

Wake up Stearns, and bring back Go-Go
‘Cause we’ve had such good luck with former Astros
Wake up Stearns, and bring back Go-Go
He’s gonna bounce back nice and crush the ball
Wake up Stearns, and bring back Go-Go
It’s not like Nieuwenhuis’ numbers say no
Wake up Stearns, and bring back Go-Go
Excite Milwaukee this fall…

 

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